Being detached from outcome

What does it mean to be detached from outcome?

Being detached from outcome means you are not attached to any outcomes or desires.

When you are detached from outcome you have a lot less let downs in life because you aren’t attached to outcomes or desires. When you expect specific results and they have to be EXACTLY the way you want it, down to every last little micro detail, when ever they don’t go exactly as planned your positive state is disrupted and replaced with anger, anxiety, doubt, fear and many other unappealing emotions.

How does this apply to pick up?

When you are talking to women and you depend on outcomes such as you making her laugh, having sex with her, getting along with her you’ll generally end up repelling the things you want away from you. This will usually happen because when you depend on the outcome you become needy, desperate, and validation seeking.

Instead of getting caught up in the outcomes, don’t let how things unfold affect your emotions or mood, roll with the punches, re-calibrate to the situation, and keep moving forward. You’ll usually find that this mindset will not only help you produce better results but keep you happy for what get, and not freaking out about what’s not going exactly how you would like it to.

Now this doesn’t mean you can’t want things, you can, but don’t be fixated on to many specific details because in life things change. What you might want badly today could be a faded memory tomorrow, like when you really want a girl, then you objectively look at the situation and realize getting with her would have been a huge mistake.

If you were attached to the outcome of being with her you would still try to make it work even if you know it wont, which will cause you turmoil instead of you getting to move forward on to better things. Being detached from outcome is crucial for pick up because it cuts down the amount of needy and validation-seeking behaviors you exhibit which ruin you interaction.

I hope you’ve found this helpful. Please leave a comment and follow us on social media like twitter and facebook.

Qualification

Qualification, what is it?

Qualification is assessing whether a person is a potential fit for a product or service you have. Qualifying is the act of assessing if something or someone is a proper fit for you. You can think of qualifying as a filtration process, you’re filtering out bad qualities you don’t want until your find a suitable match with the qualities you want.

How do you use it?

Everyone has qualifiers; you need to identify the qualifiers in people you want such as: the person does not have a negative personality, they have a sense of humor, they share similar values, they’re into yoga. Once you know what you're looking for you know what questions to ask, so instead of wasting a whole night or even worse getting into a relationship with someone that’s not suited for you for months or even years, you can reduce all of that time into minutes by simply asking qualifying questions in your first interaction with the person to determine whether or not you should invest your time in that person.

Why is it important?

Plain and simple if you do not qualify, you will not find what you are looking for!

If you don’t qualify people, your dating life will pretty much be a stab in the dark, always getting in and out of bad relationships or not even being able to form a relationship because you have no clue what you want! Think about it how can you get what you want if you don’t know what you’re looking for? And even if you do know what you’re looking for how can you find it if you don’t filter your interactions for the things that you’re looking for?

Example

Say for example a woman, who only likes attractive, wealthy guys that live a fast flashy lifestyle, and are only concerned about superficial things, wants a serious relationship and love. She is wondering why she is constantly cheated on and used by men, then left for the next girl. The reason why she is getting cheated on and used so frequently is because she isn’t qualifying for men that are looking for long term loving relationships, she’s qualifying the type of men who generally will cheat on women and not care because of the lifestyle they live and the values they hold. It’s not that all guys are dogs like some women like to say, it’s the guys that they pursue who are dogs, and if they would like to find a guy who wont cheat or abuse them they need to change they’re qualifiers.

Instead of only qualifying for who can buy her love she should be qualifying for who will build the love with no price tags attached, instead of only who is physically attractive, look for a combination of both aesthetics and inner beauty with more emphasis on inner rather than outer to name a few.  Now in a new scenario say it was a man trying to find the good loving relationship things he would qualify are the types of women to avoid such as gold diggers, players, spoiled brats, and party girls. You want to avoid these types of women because they usually have characteristic traits like being selfish, needy, insecure, and untrustworthy which make them undesirable girl friends.

I hope you’ve found this information helpful please comment rate and subscribe if you like it.

For more information on the 5 types of girls to stay away from check out the link below

http://www.manhelper.com/dating_sex/5_harmful_types_of_girls_you_should_never_date

You've got to Build Rapport!

Here's a video of infield footage and a break down by Adam lyons of why it is important to build rapport and not only ask questions.

Be the fun cool guy; don’t put her on a pedestal!

When you’re out in a social setting it’s important to remember to just be the fun cool guy.

Now what does that mean exactly?

It means just go out and have fun, be self-entertained, remaining detached from outcome, not drawing your sense of state and happiness from others around you, and not being affected negatively by external factors. 

What a lot of guys looking to pick up women tend to do when they go out is they forget the main reason they came out was to have fun, they instead get stuck in “PUA mode” and get caught up in trying to make everything work or get certain results. Consequently getting stuck in your head will usually ruin the interaction.

Remember when you’re going out, you are going out to have fun! You shouldn’t feel pressured to prove your self to the women or anyone else in your environment. When you’re in an interaction you should be coming from the frame of you just being a cool guy, having fun that’s just putting him self out there, and giving her a chance to indulge in the fun with you and prove if she’s good enough for you.

Where a lot of guys go wrong is they get so caught up in external beauty that they’ll do anything to get it and obsess over the girl, even though the girl is totally wrong for them. Thinking that they’re not enough or that she’s better then them they become needy; needing the interaction to go well, they start qualifying them self’s to her because they put her on a pedestal.

Guy’s remember no girl is better then you! Everyone on this planet is equal.  Think about it, most guys think or feel that she’s better because she’s “hot”; well think about this what’s going to happen 40 years from now when she’s old and ugly? The only thing that is going to be left is her true self. If she was a nice good person she will still be beautiful, if she on the other hand was a horrible scumbag that just so happened to be hot she’ll be looking real ugly when her external beauty is gone. So don’t put any girl on a pedestal, at the end of the day she’s just a girl, she isn’t better than you because of how she looks or what reproductive organs she has.

When your approaching women come from the buyer’s perspective not the sellers. You aren’t going up trying to sell your self to them, you’re using qualification to see if she’s worthy of being around you, now with this you need to know what you want in a women (not physical attributes!) so that you know what to qualify her on, and what requirements she needs to meet for you to deem her worthy of your time and effort. Remember when you first glance at someone you don’t know that person you don’t know their status or what their like; all you know is that you would or wouldn’t mind getting to know them and that they may or may not be physically attractive so don’t assume they are better than you, because that hot girl could easily be weirder, more insecure, and have a bigger list of issues than you.

If you've found this post to be helpful please leave a comment and subscribe; if you missed my last post click here to check it out, thanks for your time and have a great day.

Breaking Rapport & Pre Opening/opening multiple sets to Build Attraction Part 1

Breaking Rapport

Building and breaking rapport can be a very powerful tool when building attraction. When you’re having a conversation with someone there are peaks and dull points in the interaction. What a lot of guys do is break rapport during the dull point of the conversation; but doing this will usually leave you with undesirable results.

Don’t break rapport during a dull moment or you will leave a dull negative memory of you in her head, you should instead break rapport during a high peak in the interaction. A lot of guys might be thinking why would you break rapport when it’s going good?

Well think about this, say for example someone gave you a piece of cake, and that piece of cake was the most delicious mouth watering slice of heaven you have ever tasted in you life; the very thought of that cake makes your mouth water, and you feel the same euphoric feeling you got when you first bit into it. Now imagine having them take back their cake and you have to sit there and watch them enjoy eating it. In that scenario what is most likely to happen is you would crave more cake because it was so good but you didn’t get enough, and now you can’t wait for the chance to taste it again. You might even go out of your way to try and get some more.

Well when you break rapport with a woman at a high point in the interaction the same thing happens, she is left with a good, fun, positive image of you and when the person remembers you, they remember experiencing the fun positive emotions that they want to feel. Braking rapport at a high point will leave her wanting more of what she can’t have and hopefully thinking of getting some more.  This will also demonstrate high value to the girl, it shows her that she isn’t the center of your world and you wont just drop everything you where doing to be with her all night like every other guy. Your time is valuable and limited; this is reflected by your need to go because you have your prior engagements you have to attend to, or you needing get back to your friends, what ever reason you come up with for breaking rapport. Your not worried that you wont see her again so your not nervous about breaking this interaction and going around having other ones, allowing her to do the same because you’re a cool confident guy, which are things women are attracted to.

So remember when you’re talking to women at a venue its ok to walk away and have other interactions, don’t be the annoying guy who follows her around all night until she can’t stand you and is looking for excuses to get away from you, or leave at a dull point. Break rapport when it is going good say something like “ You know what, I’m being really rude to my friends I should really get back to them, so lets exchange contact info because I really want to continue this conversation with you later” then give her a hug and get back to your friends or go open a new set.

I hope you’ve enjoyed part one of this two part blog on breaking rapport and have found it helpful, stay tuned in for part two on pre opening as it will have information that will add on to what you learned in this post and give you insights on how to enhance those skills and have a great night out.