Being detached from outcome

What does it mean to be detached from outcome?

Being detached from outcome means you are not attached to any outcomes or desires.

When you are detached from outcome you have a lot less let downs in life because you aren’t attached to outcomes or desires. When you expect specific results and they have to be EXACTLY the way you want it, down to every last little micro detail, when ever they don’t go exactly as planned your positive state is disrupted and replaced with anger, anxiety, doubt, fear and many other unappealing emotions.

How does this apply to pick up?

When you are talking to women and you depend on outcomes such as you making her laugh, having sex with her, getting along with her you’ll generally end up repelling the things you want away from you. This will usually happen because when you depend on the outcome you become needy, desperate, and validation seeking.

Instead of getting caught up in the outcomes, don’t let how things unfold affect your emotions or mood, roll with the punches, re-calibrate to the situation, and keep moving forward. You’ll usually find that this mindset will not only help you produce better results but keep you happy for what get, and not freaking out about what’s not going exactly how you would like it to.

Now this doesn’t mean you can’t want things, you can, but don’t be fixated on to many specific details because in life things change. What you might want badly today could be a faded memory tomorrow, like when you really want a girl, then you objectively look at the situation and realize getting with her would have been a huge mistake.

If you were attached to the outcome of being with her you would still try to make it work even if you know it wont, which will cause you turmoil instead of you getting to move forward on to better things. Being detached from outcome is crucial for pick up because it cuts down the amount of needy and validation-seeking behaviors you exhibit which ruin you interaction.

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Being self-entertained vs. seeking validation

Being self-entertained vs. seeking validation, what’s the difference? One is a path to happiness the other is a path to misery and neediness.

Becoming self-entertained is one of the greatest achievements you can ever have in life. If you’re self-entertained you’ll never be bored because you don’t need external factors for your amusement, you’re able to self generate positive emotions, thoughts, and actions. If you can self generate positive emotions you are less susceptible to other people and the surrounding environments bringing your sense of state down.

Think about it if you are outcome dependent and need someone to validate what your saying and doing, every time you don’t get the validation it brings your state down because you didn’t get the validation you need. This usually ends with you becoming needy because you keep trying things to get the validation, and in the process of doing so you will most likely turn the person off and make them want to get away from you as soon as possible, because no one likes a social leech.

Being a social leech is not the best way to live your life. Being a social leech is not ideal because when you leech your emotions off other people your happiness depends on them, they control when you are happy or not, that’s a horrible way to live! Whereas you could self generate the positive emotions and entertain your self, which would lead to a more happy life because even if the person your speaking to doesn’t like or agree with what you said or did it doesn’t matter because you didn’t do it for them you did it for you!

Don’t do or say things to get a reaction out of people do it for your self, do it because it will make you happy, do it because you actually enjoy it, this will give you an abundance of happiness and joy in your life that no one can take from you. So to sum up unless you want to lead a miserable pitiful existence where other people have control over your emotions DO NOT SEEK VALIDATION! Seeking validation will not bring you happiness. Being a self-entertained person will always leave you with an abundance of positive emotion that will lead to a more enjoyable happy life.

That’s it for this weeks blog thanks for tuning in, if you have any questions leave a comment or message me at socialacircle@gmail.com and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. If you haven’t seen last weeks blog on the attraction formula click the link below and enjoy!

Attraction formula

The Attraction Formula

(C-R)+Q+SE = Attraction

If you don’t know what breaking rapport or qualification is please refer to my blogs on those topics before reading this to make this blog easier to understand.

What is it?

What does (C-R)+Q+SE = Attraction mean? To break it down C is comfort, R is rapport, Q is Qualification, and SE is sexual escalation.  So when applying it to this model building comfort plus breaking rapport plus qualification equals the attraction between friends and people you want to network with and when you add sexual escalation in the mix it creates the attraction you need to seduce someone you want to be more than friends with.

Because this blog is a school project I will not be covering sexual escalation in this blog, however I will publish a blog on sexual escalation in January after this project is over so stay tuned in.

How do you use it?

When you first meet a person you need to build comfort with them, think about it when you’re with your friends you can say highly inappropriate things to them and they wont get mad but if you were to go up to them with out knowing them and say the same things it could end up with you getting into an altercation, well why is that? You can do this with your friends and not random strangers because they’re comfortable with you. Building comfort is crucial to building relationships because a person who isn’t comfortable being around you is not going to want to interact with you or see you again. To build comfort you need to build rapport with the person.

Once a sufficient amount of rapport is built its time to start breaking rapport. Building comfort is good but if your entire interaction is you building comfort it’ll end up being bland and not something to remember so break rapport to keep things interesting. While you’re building comfort you should be qualifying the person to see if they’re even worth spending time building comfort with. Also apposed to you trying to control the conversation and topics you speak about use qualification to find things the person actually wants to talk about. When you do this you don’t end up being the only one talking. A lot of the time when a person isn’t really being talkative the problem is that you’re not talking to them about things they are interested in so they don’t have much to respond with. If you ask them about something they’re interested in the person can talk for days about it because they know about it and they’re passionate about it, which will lead to a much better conversation. Doing all this with a person successfully should build attraction between you and that person unless through the qualification process you find out you don’t like each other.

I hope you've found this helpful, and if you have any questions please leave a comment and remember to subscribe for more content, thanks for your time and have a great day

Qualification

Qualification, what is it?

Qualification is assessing whether a person is a potential fit for a product or service you have. Qualifying is the act of assessing if something or someone is a proper fit for you. You can think of qualifying as a filtration process, you’re filtering out bad qualities you don’t want until your find a suitable match with the qualities you want.

How do you use it?

Everyone has qualifiers; you need to identify the qualifiers in people you want such as: the person does not have a negative personality, they have a sense of humor, they share similar values, they’re into yoga. Once you know what you're looking for you know what questions to ask, so instead of wasting a whole night or even worse getting into a relationship with someone that’s not suited for you for months or even years, you can reduce all of that time into minutes by simply asking qualifying questions in your first interaction with the person to determine whether or not you should invest your time in that person.

Why is it important?

Plain and simple if you do not qualify, you will not find what you are looking for!

If you don’t qualify people, your dating life will pretty much be a stab in the dark, always getting in and out of bad relationships or not even being able to form a relationship because you have no clue what you want! Think about it how can you get what you want if you don’t know what you’re looking for? And even if you do know what you’re looking for how can you find it if you don’t filter your interactions for the things that you’re looking for?

Example

Say for example a woman, who only likes attractive, wealthy guys that live a fast flashy lifestyle, and are only concerned about superficial things, wants a serious relationship and love. She is wondering why she is constantly cheated on and used by men, then left for the next girl. The reason why she is getting cheated on and used so frequently is because she isn’t qualifying for men that are looking for long term loving relationships, she’s qualifying the type of men who generally will cheat on women and not care because of the lifestyle they live and the values they hold. It’s not that all guys are dogs like some women like to say, it’s the guys that they pursue who are dogs, and if they would like to find a guy who wont cheat or abuse them they need to change they’re qualifiers.

Instead of only qualifying for who can buy her love she should be qualifying for who will build the love with no price tags attached, instead of only who is physically attractive, look for a combination of both aesthetics and inner beauty with more emphasis on inner rather than outer to name a few.  Now in a new scenario say it was a man trying to find the good loving relationship things he would qualify are the types of women to avoid such as gold diggers, players, spoiled brats, and party girls. You want to avoid these types of women because they usually have characteristic traits like being selfish, needy, insecure, and untrustworthy which make them undesirable girl friends.

I hope you’ve found this information helpful please comment rate and subscribe if you like it.

For more information on the 5 types of girls to stay away from check out the link below

http://www.manhelper.com/dating_sex/5_harmful_types_of_girls_you_should_never_date